Depression – Wordsmith: At The Forge

Dust

By brian francis

When dreams are cast away
and sorrow’s burden settles
When torment rips at one’s soul
and empties all vitality
hollow canyons wail
where once satisfaction flowed

We torment ourselves
with imagined outcomes
merely begging for another chance
Pain filled pleadings to grace
But the linear nature of our reality
precludes our delusion of possibility
spent, time passes inexorably on

Heavy is the only way to describe it
the feeling of one’s chest
when bound in the struggle
enduring the aching of regret
resilience bides its time well
and creeps in starts and fits
toying with memories
inspiring brief moments of joy

Healing comes as sure as morning
the taste of life once again
scars can often change perspectives
and make unsure our path ahead
tears will fall in spurts and sputters
but so will joy and laughing spree
somehow unknown life re-blossoms
we dare reach for the sun again

Copyright © 2020 brian francis

Sorrow’s Plight

By brian francis

I know how pain can sear and stretch
I can watch it deep in your eyes.
But sometimes love demands of us,
a sacrifice of greater magnitude,
a willingness to do what is right.
Even if it means the loss of love.
Even if it means the endless night.

I have watched your suffering,
endured your painful tortured eyes.
long has love thus held my heart
and bound me to our fate.
Compassion’s tears, have torn my soul,
worn great ruts through my being.
Yet, has strangely made me whole.

Canyons of empathy, glorious vistas abound,
where in picturesque grandeur
the horizon of my soul reveals its truth;
a barren waste of empty mourning.
Screams of needful lonely moments
wailing; echo through the chasms
seeking healing and atonements.

Stormy Seas

by brian francis

Have you ever stood on a street corner
And felt total despair like a void within?
Have you ever cried so deep inside
That the tears near shattered your soul?
Have you fought with your demons
In a silent struggle with memories of sin?
Have you lost hope for even just a second?

Have you?

Were the means ever within your grasp?
Did your hand ever hold the final answer?
A pharmaceutical cocktail or brass and lead.
The crushing heaviness of your breast.
The contemplation of utter finality.
The anticipation of the strength to give up.
The realization of the strength to go on?

Have you ever?

Moments of Courage

by Brian Francis

When life offers little more than another day’s indignity and suffering
Betrayed by the body’s failures and breaks, blood from the slightest of bumps
Questioning questions once put to rest, like that of a slipping man’s bumbling
Feeling I am the heaviest of weights tied ‘round the souls of those that I love
Causing the suffering to metastasize and dragging them all down: I cling.

Pride drains away quickly leaving a hallow useless remnant subsiding
To make it just that one more day a prayer a mantra repeated and repeated
Tears at the thought of letting them down failure to be where I’m needed
I plead for smiles to visit, but for the love of my life they are depleted
The burden of dragging so heavy a weight tires him, yet still: I cling

Imagining ways to accomplish the task and the ways it could go so awry
Scaring myself with the thoughts that I have as the sorrow pervades within
Gathering the courage to do what I must, determined to give it the hardest try
No sleep I just lay there I stare at the walls remembering much better times
His breathing steady as he sleeps his body radiates heat, and still I cling

The Great Depression

by brian francis

In the darkness I often lay
waiting patiently for the coming day
And while the night goes creeping by
I lay in wait but beneath I cry
I see my life as a challenge met
yet the reflection seems all regret
I wonder what others truly see
when their eyes alight on me

Sunshine brightens our darkened room
and still I lay with a heavy chest
No passion for life from a barren soul
burdens my labored breathing
I remember a time when I think I smiled
but are they true memories or distant dreams
What can one do but persist and continue
dragging the weight dragging and dragging

I’ll try to smile to shine a bit
for fear of revealing I feel like shit
I’ll laugh if it seems the thing to do
emotion like a burka a presented view
outward appearances a social game
unknown rules cloud constrain
What others find it so easy to be
rips at my soul and tortures me.

Copyright © 2020 brian francis

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